As if enough hot air and wind did not eminate from Highland councillors already, local communities around Loch Ness are outraged that a nod and wink has been given by them to yet another monstrous wind farm. These blights on the landscape are starting to turn the once beautiful Highlands into something resembling an awful urban factory zone with concrete and steel replacing trees and vegetation. In this latest scheme 33 massive turbines will blight Dunmaglass.

Speaking from his Loch Ness project Dr Pott said, "we are very worried because wind turbines cause sub-sonic vibrations that may affect Nesie, the cryptid (otherwise known as the Loch Ness Monster). Research done by our colleagues in California has shown that dolphins and other aquatic lifeforms are disturbed by such sounds as are salmon and other vital species.

Frankly, this website believes that there is a simple way to fulfil the Highlands energy needs: simply tap the rear ends of the councillors after each of their lavish, free daily lunches and burn off the methane produced so copiously by their hungry bellies.